Last Friday, July 29th, I was blessed enough to be surrounded by (most of) my loved ones, (most of) my best friends, and I felt the Holy Spirit practically carry me through the entire beautiful experience with a grace I can’t explain.
I had more than a few reasons to be on edge that day, yet I wasn’t. The officiator was (seemingly) indisposed, Israel’s ring was a pinch too small, the day was flying by… I even left my phone — the source of our first dance song — in my car. At some point during the day, after laying on my bed for five minutes, breathing deeply and praying, I got right back up and decided none of that mattered. What mattered was who I was marrying, what it meant, and that our loved ones were with us. Israel smiled, hugged me, and told me that he couldn’t care less about the extra stuff (though we are both very grateful for ALL of the extra stuff!), but that all he cared about was the fact that he was going to spend the rest of his life with me. On her wedding day, that’s just about all a gal needs to hear.
Miracles were happening all around. The friend officiating our wedding got there in time, Israel’s ring slipped on during the ceremony, and my car was even unlocked, so that my phone could be retrieved for our first dance… which actually worked out perfectly: it gave Israel a moment to say a few words to our guests. We had our guests standing around us, a symbolic gesture stating that these are the people we’d have had in our wedding party… these are the people who stood by us all along and we know will continue to do so. Plus, as Israel pointed out, it’s hard to choose anyone else when there are three amazing and beautiful kids there to be our wedding party ;)
I remember taking snapshots in my head all day long. And from the moment I walked down the aisle with my dad, up until falling asleep that night, the caption for those snapshots was this:
This is literally, absolutely, exactly what I wanted. This is perfect. This is my dream wedding, complete with a man I love and trust with every fiber of my being.
The adrenaline rushes that so often accompany me during a stressful day were non existent. And rather than my heart beating faster when I saw Israel that day, my heart slowed down. There was that calm… that undefinable joy, that feeling in my very soul that all was exactly as it should be. I hugged my new family with love bursting out of my easy-going heart. I smiled at my parents and sister and said with my eyes, “Thank you for supporting me in everything.” I had already lucked out in life with a great family — but I truly won the jackpot with the family I just gained. The “in-loves.”
I’ve learned that love can survive anything and that God shows up every day. Even in these first few days of marriage, I’ve felt that same sense of calm, that same depth in my heart that everything will be okay. I’m sure the ultimate bliss I’m feeling now will temper down with real life and all that, but the marriage did something (you know, the whole point of marriage, ha) to solidify those feelings.
However, when you start with the messy wilderness Israel and I experienced since the day we first met, there never is and never will be a “honeymoon phase.” Life hit us pretty hard and quick, so there are no rose colored glasses to be found. We are raw, we are real, we are pure, we are dark in all the right places and illuminated by grace and love.
Plus, when you don’t go on an actual honeymoon, there are perks. Like hanging with all your girlfriends two nights later and feeling like a kid with them, laughing in the moonlight. It is such a blessing to have the life I do, with all the ups and downs. I try to take people as they are… flaws and all. And I remember every day that God loves me… which means he loves everyone else, too. I’m thankful He’s been with me, slowing down my heart, and allowing me to feel peace.
I’m excited for the new chapter. I’m thankful for the life I have been given.
I’m also thankful for any reader here… especially those of you who have been reading my blog for four years (yeah!!!! Yesterday was Hey Lou’s 4th birthday!). You’ve been with me through a lot. Some of my posts were all darkness. Some of them contained a hint of light. Some of them were sheepish grins, trying to fool even myself. Today the blog is still messy, still imperfect, but altogether honest, filled with hope and telling a new story.
Thanks for taking the ride with me.
Lou (who has decided that this is her very favorite picture — ever.)