by Melinda Haas

After You Stop 

When you make the choice to stop trying, another part of you dies. 

When you make the choice to stop trying, something deep within you sighs relief. 

When your womb is forever empty, you want to rip it from your body. 

When your womb is forever empty, gentleness must become a way of living. 

When your attempts fail, nothing else seems to matter. 

When your attempts fail, everything else matters a little bit more. 

When you are alone in your yearning, you are an island of resentment, sadness and rage. 

When you are alone in your yearning, you are a rock. 

When surrounded by noise you didn’t create, hands cover ears, eyes squeeze tight, lips seal with a scream inside your chest. 

When surrounded by noise you didn’t create, you must create your own safe places. 

When your arms are empty, they’ve never felt so heavy. 

When your arms are empty, there’s never been this much opportunity. 

When you make the choice to stop trying, another part of you dies. 

When you make the choice to stop trying, something deep within you sighs relief.