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The Grey Matters

The Sisters We Find

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#7 What did I love to do when I was a child?

I’m on question seven of my 20 Questions Every Woman Should Ask Herself series.

It SORT of seems like the easiest question yet. But it has made me think, remember, and pause more than any of the others. Childhood is such a precious time. I have a new perspective on it these days and a new relationship with my childhood self. I sort of have her back, but I’m really missing something.

Because mostly, what I loved to do as a child, was anything with my twin sister. She was my rock, my playmate, my best friend and the only person I wasn’t ever afraid of.

twin, memory, smiling

we even shared onesies :)

writing, memory, fishing, dad, vivid

Now, I love what these two photos represent. I think it’s something that most siblings (at least these days) can’t really relate to. When you’re a twin, you see things differently. Meaning: there is no record of right or wrong kept. There is no scoreboard and we pretty much only supported each other. We rarely, if ever, grew jealous or spiteful. In the first picture, we’re obviously having a hilarious time, and we obviously had to possess some skills in teamwork to even make that whole ordeal happen. In the second photograph, I have to laugh, because I’m just holding the bag of worms and Meredith is holding the big catch of the day. But I’m still holding her hand, still happy for her, and I doubt if I ever wondered, “When will I get to hold the fish?”

It’s not that we didn’t or don’t have our faults. We were regular little girls who made mistakes and had arguments, but when it comes down to it, the spirit of sisterhood was real and represented in the relationship she and I held as twins.

 

sisters

I have two older sisters as well. LUCKY ME!!!!! I love my sisters.

 

If only the whole world could be so supportive and able to let others “hold the fish.” If only all women who are ALL part of the sisterhood on this planet treated each other like they mattered, no matter what. What if we CHEERED for others when they were successful? What if we were willing to stand back in those moments, humble and content? I so long for such a world. Yet I know first hand that some women don’t live this way.

However, I’ve also learned that as an adult, I have more relationships that fall under the “twin-like” category than I could have possibly imagined. Of course, the sisters who are related to me by blood can never be replaced. Even from far away, we help each other, share our secrets, group text (hooray for technology!) and love one another. But the sisters who I’ve met recently in life and are related to me through interests, faith, kindness, and laughter have a new place in my heart. We also help each other, share our secrets, group text and love one another. We pray together and for one another. We weep together and for one another.

Now, this relates to the question asked in the beginning: What did I love to do when I was a child?

The big answer is… spend time with my sisters.

This topic hits close to home because a) I’m no longer living near my sisters and b) I have a whole new set of “sisters” who are so good to me, who mean so much to me, that I have literally been brought to tears because of the love I have in my heart for them.

I hope each woman on the planet has been able to experience this. I used to say, I don’t know HOW people got through life without a twin. Now I really think, How do people go through life without a wealth of friendship… especially one rooted in faith.

I just got the amazing experience of taking a road trip to Montana with four other women in order to visit our loved friend who moved away. I think anyone would be wary of spending 12+ hours in a van with a bunch of women… but it was fun, inspiring, filled with laughter and stories and I honestly didn’t notice how long we were in the car.

 

5am

5am!

I felt the true type of companionship that has the comfort of family, knowing I could say anything without the threat of being judged or laughed at. It was one of the safest “safe zones” I’ve been a part of.

waterfall

waterfall!

We explored Yellowstone (my first time ever there!)

yellowstonecarmen-melindaThe HIGH that goes along with an experience like this is quite amazing. It’s hard to get down from, to tell you the truth. The fact that these trips can’t last forever make it way too easy to wish that they would, in fact, last forever. I found myself wishing that the hours spent drinking coffee, looking at the mountains, chatting for hours with five girlfriends, and never feeling a moment that wasn’t cozy, would just keep lasting and lasting. When we danced in the old mountain bar, I didn’t want to leave the dancefloor. When we stood in church, all in one pew together, tears streamed down my face as I thanked God for the friends I have. I experienced a flood of memories, including EVERYONE who’s made me feel welcome in the Midwest and all of the crazy “God moments” that have led me to exactly where I stand today.

montana

It was difficult to get home and miss our dear friend we went to go see. Yet, I felt a new sense of calm and comfort in my life, knowing that the “safe zone” I felt would last forever. When you have that, you can actually step outside of it way more often.

My mom said this in regards to romantic relationships, but I think it’s true with friends too: You can leave the kitchen because you’re no longer starving. Meaning: you’re not desperate for love or attention, you have the comfort and stability you need… now go out there and face the world, knowing you’re full no matter what.

How thankful I am for the women in my life. And not just the ones pictured here (I’m just super excited, still, about the road trip we took!!). There are so many others, and I can only HOPE that I have helped them even half as much as they’ve helped me.

So there’s my answer to question 7 in my series. May all women feel loved. May we all treat each other with respect. May we forgive each other and ourselves, may we live lives rooted in TRUTH and encourage one another to do so. May God continue to bless us on our own rocky paths as we stumbled hand in hand, somehow reaching one another, even when we feel miles apart.

I LOVE YOU LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ellie

AND MISS YOU ELLIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Love, Lou

 

 

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Author: Melinda Haas

I write, I read, I love to laugh. God, my husband, and my step children make up my world. I am working on publishing many novels, three of which are completed manuscripts.

2 thoughts on “The Sisters We Find

  1. Thank you for sharing this! Good for my soul!

  2. I, too, have often thought, ” how does anyone survive without a twin??!!”!

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