“With you by my side we’re organizing like Rome”

-Brush Strokes

This song lyric reminds me of my life here in Albuquerque so far. I moved here when I was 8 years old. Now I’m 25 and, never having thought I’d leave, I have plans to move away.

And as always, I am mostly writing about my twin sister, Meredith. She sings the organizing like Rome lyric and every time I hear it I think…. yeah, we do that. Maybe Rome fell. Maybe it wasn’t built in a day. Maybe it isn’t exactly the same, but the line makes me think those inspiring thoughts: we can do anything, difficult things are possible, we’ve built a really strong life with each other, always side by side. 

ready for anything

For the first time in all of my life, I’ll be by myself. I can hardly even FIND a picture of my life that Meredith isn’t in. (At least until after high school.)

BUT!!!! This isn’t a sad blog post. I think that because I’ve had such a strong foundation (my entire family, my good friends, etc), I am able to move on in such a way. I’m excited for the future and I’m excited to do something on my own, no matter how unknown that might be.

A while ago I was into writing blogs about dreams coming true. I wrote about plan A’s in life, and making your biggest dream a plan A rather than a plan B. I said a lot of things about not giving up, dropping everything and following your dreams…… you get the drift. (lots of talk about dreams)

For a second there, I forgot, just a little, where those blogs were coming from. I really wondered and pondered where I was headed in life. Things felt as if they were in a sort of standstill. Well…. things change every day. I’ve been surprised more in the last 6 months of my life than maybe ever before. Most of the surprises have been good. Most have led me toward something completely different than I thought.

Two years ago I figured out that I had a passion I never would have guessed: ORGANIC FARMING.

And now, in 2015, at the perfect time in my life, when all the stars have aligned… I have a real job lined up. To work at a farm.

This farm is in Wisconsin. (never, would I have ever told you I’d live there)

This farm is in a town of less than 5,000 people. (so says Wikipedia)

This farm is already a place I can picture myself, totally confident in what I’m doing. (dream job)

If you want to check out what this place is all about, go to the Borner Farm Project website. They have bees (those who know me know I love bees and invite them into my home) and chickens (ummm …. anyone who knows me ALSO knows that I’d rather have chickens around than any other animal, including cats and dogs) and lots of organic produce. And from what I can tell, this place has kind, hard working and compassionate people.

Could I ask for anything more?

I’ll be leaving a lot, which is scary. But I’ll be heading toward an entirely different future.

Who knows? I could be organizing like Rome in a completely different way.

Cheers!

Lou

Note***  I also considered naming this blog: Dishes on Christmas 

Every once in a while I see something on Pinterest that gets me. I love the inspirational quotes, but sometimes they all start to sound the same and the nice font gets old. Here is one that I read yesterday, just before the new year began.

source

It’s not that I’ve been waiting around in my room for someone to save me. (In fact, I might have even pushed away a few people who could have helped me in one way or another.) Everything I’ve done this year has been part of my attempt, for the entire 2014, to become stronger and to do it on my own. Sometimes I do still feel like a little girl. Maybe it’s being the youngest of 4 daughters. Perpetual youngest syndrome, perhaps. Though when I do all the “adult things” my life requires, I feel like anything but a little girl.

Then I started thinking… maybe this is what we should tell little girls every night, as a little afterthought, once the fairy tale is read. “The Prince on a white horse came and blah blah blah….. oh and by the way, little girl, you are on your own.” I wonder if my life thus far would have turned out differently if that was what I’d been told each day. (I’m not suggesting you should have, mom and dad. I liked the stories just fine.)

I felt more on my own than ever before when the clock struck twelve last night. I was with a dear friend I’ve had since 4th grade, but we were with people I hardly knew and I surely didn’t have anyone to kiss.

Jess and Mel <3

Am I okay with this? Yes, absolutely.

Did I feel a tad lonely? Yes, absolutely.

Was I SO THANKFUL to have girlfriends, all of which texted me Happy New Year at some point, and to be with another strong woman who didn’t need anyone, either? YES! ABSOLUTELY!

I stood there with my swollen glands, scratchy voice and sore throat  champagne ready to drink, a girlfriend right beside me, Taylor Swift shouting at me from the TV…. counted down the seconds…. and BOOM! I was in a new year.

A new year THIS little girl wants to claim as her own.  

I felt a similar feeling of power/wtf-is-this/weirdness on Christmas day when I wound up doing dishes by myself. In the past, I was one of the people at the family Christmas dinner with a person with me. I was never alone, never had responsibility because I’d head home soon enough…. we had more to say…. etc, etc.

Not so much this year. This year I was the only Wilder sister who was single! Now I know how my twin sister Meredith felt all those years. She literally used to disappear into the kitchen and spend about an hour on the dishes. I never thought much of this. It just made sense. It was just what she wanted to do. Now I have a little insight. I know now that there are moments when the enormity of being alone grows just a little bit too huge and all of a sudden, you want to be more alone than ever. I collected the plates and did the dishes: my duty as the single, youngest daughter. (Like the good old ancient times!!!)

I did like it though. It’s just that these moments of solitude are never what gets photographed and framed. In between these fun holiday moments:

my nephew, Carson

Dad, me, mom, Meredith (twin!) and Tyler aka THE MUG CLUB

Meredith and I are truly bad at pool.

There were moments where I took a deep breath, took a good look around me, was thankful for my family and their loved ones, and accepted where I am in life as nothing but a good step on my road to wherever I’m headed.

So whether I’m on my own (not really…. just without a new year’s kiss!) for New Year’s Eve or Christmas Day or not…. it’ll be okay. I really don’t need rescuing.

Best friends make up for these things, anyway :)

twins

Love,

Melinda (the sort of little girl)