Hey Lou Writes

The Grey Matters

Cider Bar Rules (And A Flashback)


My favorite thing to do right now is drink a cider with my twin. Luckily, I did this very thing last night.

life changing

cider time

While drinking a cider at a bar with your sister and best friends, here are the rules:

Laugh and cause a ruckus.

Eat an entire gluten free pizza in the process, because that rarely happens. ;)

Don’t think about life and don’t get serious. Save that for later.

I’ve been pondering life lately, which could sound deep and profound, but usually it’s small little thoughts that don’t amount to much. Like:

“Why did I say _____?”

“What do I feel about ____?”

“Why does ______ affect me this way?”

“When ____ said ____ I felt ___. WHY?”

“What am I doing?”

Your typical, run of the mill life questions.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about life changing moments. We both agreed that people can change quickly. I said, “An entire lifetime can happen in one day.” By that I mean, something so profound can happen that changes you forever.

You can age, so so much, in one day.

You can suddenly feel younger.

Your opinions can change, your entire outlook on life. Not even in a day, but sometimes in just one moment. All it takes is the perfect sentence to be read or heard… all it takes is a look in someone’s eye or a feeling of being cared for or something to strike you as so sad and horrible that a part of you is stuck in that experience forever and you now live life … just… differently.

I have been thinking about this a lot. I have been wondering who I was one year ago. Sometimes I don’t recognize myself and rarely do I want to go back, but sometimes I sit and ponder why I wrote what I wrote, why I said what I said, and ultimately, how was I justifying my actions?

Then I did something I rarely do (because once I write something, I have a bad habit of never wanting to read it again… unless it’s a manuscript that still needs work, which is all of them right now) and I looked at what I was writing here on Hey Lou Writes almost exactly a year ago. The closest date was December 8th. Close enough, right?

Me on Dec. 8, 2012.

writer, short stories, poetry, new writer, author

one year ago

How I feel NOW: (and my current FB profile pic, haha)

life changing


Do I look older? Wiser? Is anything in a photograph real?

Here’s a link to that older post. I want to share it because it seems to be coming from a different version of Lou. Though I remember writing this post well, I am also baffled as to how I was that person. I can no longer stay up so late without some serious consequences (aka, being really tired.) I still carry around the same journal and others, but my notes are much more sporatic.

But I’m still having Too Many Thoughts.

I still love the Rumi quote. I still am haunted by a memory monster.

Yet I am a completely different person in so many ways, it’s hard to know where to start.

If you take a look at the post from a year ago, I’d love to know what you think. Did you change as much as I did?

Is there a moment (or a more than one) in your life that changed you for good? Has a lifetime happened in one day?

Let me know if I’m not alone…..

Love, Lou

Author: Melinda Haas

Melinda is a writer, blogger, artist and teacher. She lives in Wisconsin with her family.

4 thoughts on “Cider Bar Rules (And A Flashback)

  1. I feel exactly the same way. I look back even just a few months ago and can’t understand how life changes so quickly. I love that, a lifetime happening in one day. It speaks so much truth. There were moments that this happened even two weeks ago, maybe a night ago. It’s constant, ever-changing, and there are those moments when I wish I could go back, because even the slightest bit more innocence or difference felt safe–but I can’t. And I’m learning each day that’s okay.

    • I love how you just said that… “…the slightest bit more innocence or difference felt safe- but I can’t.” It’s the “can’t” that keeps us moving forward, I suppose! Thanks so much, Kristyn!!

  2. I hear you! Life can change so fast. We have the illusion of control, but that’s really all it is. It is so interesting to look back on old posts. I’m going to see what I was writing about one year ago.

  3. I do think you have changed in a year. Maybe your hair is just making me think that, but I think based on your blog posts, you do seem older and wiser. :) I have changed SO MUCH in the last five years. I think, any way. I think that once I moved to DC, my life just filled up with one life-lesson after another. What you said about your life being able to change in one day is so true! I just watched a TED talk about how your 30s are NOT the new 20s–how important it is to live your twenties in a way that lays the groundwork for the rest of your life. How you shouldn’t live it like it is just a decade for experiment. Totally true. I also think I wouldn’t have noticed how much I had changed, if I had not documented so much of the past few years in words. :) Writing is helpful like that.

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