Hey Lou Writes

The Grey Matters

Pull the Band Aid Off

11 Comments

Why Listening to Your Gut is the Way to Go

I’ve always been an impulsive person.

My sisters still tease me about the day I texted them all about my boyfriend (in high school) and said, “Guys, I need to break up with him STAT!” Most likely, the day before I was naming our future kids. I just woke up one day, realized that he really wasn’t the one and that I shouldn’t waste my time or his, and broke up with him.

(if you know me then you’ve definitely heard me say this:)

My motto: Pull off that band aid. FAST!

It might hurt A LOT, but it’s sure as hell better than pulling it off slowly, taking hair and skin and time in the process. Just pull the damn thing off. Get it over with. It only hurts for like a split second, I promise. Listen to what your gut is telling you. It’s the strongest instinct we have and we were given instinct for a reason.

I listened to my gut:

-when it came to a boyfriend in high school.

-when it told me that I was not meant to teach, but I was meant to write.(def. more blogs about that…yikes)

-when I bought that awesome scarf at Forever21.

-when I added more butter to the recipe and it turned out to be even tastier….

-when it told me that Greg was the one to marry.

new writer, writing, wedding

My dad and me… I’m hyperventilating …

new writer, writing, marriage, regrets, impulsive

Mr. & Mrs. Williams AKA Lou & Lou

-when I quit my first job, and then was asked to work at the same bakery as my sister.

new writer, writing, regret, bakery

I think I’m still in my TEENS in this picture :) ahh.. back in the day

new writer, writing, short stories, bread

Meredith holding up a yummy berry bar!! Great Harvest is awesome!

And again when I chopped off all of my hair AND dyed it for the first time ever (you got me, that wasn’t such a great success story, but still… I got past it. It was okay in the end. It grew back.)

new writer, hair cut, mistakes, regret, writing

Yikes times a million. But Greg still loved me!

You get the picture. I’ve lived a life of hardly planning for a thing. When something pops up on my road, I decide whether or not to take it. I decide quickly, too.

OUTCOME:

I may not have tons of money. (yet)

I may not have a job with benefits or retirement plan. (which I NEVER will, if I can help it… and I’m sure as hell happy this way, so it’s all gooood) (also, I quit the bakery in order to become a chocolatier -watch the product video!-… and that was also an impulsive decision!!)

I may have a touch of guilt when it comes to that boy I broke up with because he cried more than I did for no good reason. (but I think we are both happy today- I know I am)

I wake up every day to an existence that I chose and that I’m okay with…that I LOVE, actually…with this guy:

new writer, writing, happy

We’re at a high school football homecome game! Talk about memories!! And regrets!! And being happy we never have to return! ha

I’ve learned from many a mistake, and that’s okay, too

BUT I DON’T REGRET VERY MUCH.

Where does this fit in with writing or reading or anything, really? Well, I guess it comes back to characters again. Think of your favorite character of all time. It can be from a movie, book, tv show, comic strip… anything! (of course, mine is Owen in A Prayer for Owen Meany!) I’m guessing he or she had some sort of life struggle that they went through. I’m guessing something happened in their life that they wound up regretting. Isn’t it an inevitable part of the growing up process?

The thing we can control is how we respond to that regret and how long we let it last. I’m not saying I don’t have guilt. I keep that guilt tucked away until it comes out at the worst times, actually. But at the end of the day, I think that feeling of regret is even worse. Guilt can come along even when you know you did the right thing. Regret often comes from a time when you know you did the wrong thing.

Regret and guilt are often what propels a character forward.

Where would Hester be without the mistake that changed her entire life? The one that led to a daughter and a willpower stronger than she knew? (The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne)

Where would Captain Ahab be if he didn’t regret the day he let the whale get the better of him? (Moby Dick by Herman Melville)

And where, oh where, would Rachel be if she hadn’t made a huge mistake… one that left her feeling guilty for a very long time, but ultimately changed her life for the better? (Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin)

As the main characters in our own lives, it moves our stories along. It’s the mistakes in someone’s life that can really be a part of who they become.

So I hope that if you have any regrets, you are quickly letting them fade.

I hope if you have any guilt, that it passes and your heart is peaceful!

I also hope that if you haven’t read A Prayer for Owen Meany, you so do ASAP!! ;)

 

Advertisements

Author: Melinda Haas

I write, I read, I love to laugh. God, my husband, and my step children make up my world. I am working on publishing many novels, three of which are completed manuscripts.

11 thoughts on “Pull the Band Aid Off

  1. Great post! I had never thought about the difference between regret and guilt. Great insight!

  2. Pingback: At A Loss for Words- On Giving Advice « Hey Lou Writes

  3. Melinda! Love your blog (found it through Olive Me today…looking forward to catching up on old posts :). I HAD to comment because “A Prayer for Owen Meany” is my favorite book!! I don’t think I have ever met anyone else who has even heard of it! I recommend it to everyone. It holds a special place in my heart, because it was a book I received in a trade with another backpacker in Europe (we tended to do this on long train rides…backpacker library!), and I can still picture myself on the train from Germany to Prague, crying my eyes out at the ending and these German ladies thinking I was so weird! Hahaha… Anyway, keep up the great writing and reading! Hope to see you soon. Tan and Sams and I all send our Love. –J.

    • Oh my gosh!!!! Any fellow Owen Meany lovers are meant to be great friends haha. Thanks for reading my blog! It means so much to me. I am so glad you know the book and love it as much as I do. I think it’s the funniest, cutest, saddest, most REAL book possibly ever written! Isn’t it crazy how, even though he lets us know very early on that Owen is going to die, that it still comes as this big shock and makes us cry? Remarkable. I want to hear more about Germany and Prague… I bet you have some amazing stories of your own to share from that! love you guys! :)

  4. Pingback: Too Real For Fiction {Part II} « Hey Lou Writes

  5. Pingback: It’s as Simple as a Smile | Hey Lou Writes

  6. Pingback: Grow, Lou | Hey Lou Writes

  7. You can definitely see your skills within the work you write.
    The sector hopes for even more passionate writers like you who are not afraid to mention how they
    believe. All the time follow your heart.

  8. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so much about this, like
    you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but instead of that, this is excellent blog.
    A great read. I’ll certainly be back.

Tell Lou What YOU Think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s